Weekend of hearts.

Tara Simmons.

Ooookay. First time skipping a whole week, but I’ve been busy. Not a big deal.

I’ve meditated every evening, I’ve contemplated if psychology is really the field I want, I’ve stopped biting my nails (for the millionth time), I’ve consciously done something for someone almost every day, and the list goes on.

But something was off last week. I stopped working out as religiously as I had been and stopped eating as healthily as usual, because I felt down. Other than this being obviously related to female monthly blues, I knew something was up.

Then it hit me.

For my birthday last year, a friend of mine gave me the book Into the Wild. He knew I liked the movie, but I hadn’t read the book. Inside the book, though, he wrote a note that essentially said, “Remember, happiness is best when shared.” (I say essentially because I don’t have the book with me right now.)

That’s it. The whole thing. The whole project. It comes down to people. I’m happiest around people, I’m happiest in the moments shared with another person.

Turns out, all I’ve really learned from re-focusing is that happiness for me simply means being social.

This month has at least shown me that. From here out, I’m going to not just focus on fixing myself by looking inward. When I spend my month working on getting fit, I’ll share that with another person. When I focus on getting smarter every day, I’ll bring someone else into the learn-vest. When I disconnect from electronics, it’ll be to spend time with human beings that I genuinely enjoy being around and meeting new people.

I was dumped by someone who valued being alone to solve problems more than being with someone else. I’m not like that, and I never will be.

I’m too social.

-Jamie

February: Refocus.

February

Refocus.

- Get back into morning routines.

- Stop silly bad habits… again.

- Contemplate ideal career path.

- Consciously do something for someone else, every day.

- Dedicate time to myself every day.

Alright! Another month down, only five more to go.

This project has kind of wandered about, not taking root like I had intended. However, I’m not discouraged. I set out to obtain a healthier outlook and gain insight on things I really needed in my life. I pretty much knocked that off the list after the second or third month, but I kept going because I knew there would be much more to learn from it in the end. After seven months of picking different parts of my life to focus on, I can honestly say that I’m doing a lot of good things now that I would not have done without the project (not going to list them now).

Originally, I had February as ‘contemplate careers,’ but I’ve more or less figured that out since starting this. So instead, I will take February to catch up and refocus on what I might have been slacking on for a while now. The plan is to get back into my morning routine of push-ups and sit-ups, stop biting my nails (for the millionth time), amp up the positive talk towards others and myself, consciously make the effort to help someone else every day, and actually set time aside to focus on my personal needs.

The word February is frustrating to say. I try saying Feb-roo-airy, but it sounds weird. I could say Feb-yoo-airy like most of the population, but it feels wrong.

I really wish I knew how to spice up these silly notes. Every night, I write in a journal, so all of my witty comments just go to myself.

Whatever. There you go. This will be Feb-yoo-airy.

-Jamie