Ooookay. First time skipping a whole week, but I’ve been
busy. Not a big deal.
I’ve meditated every evening, I’ve contemplated if
psychology is really the field I want, I’ve stopped biting my nails (for the
millionth time), I’ve consciously done something for someone almost every day,
and the list goes on.
But something was off last week. I stopped working out as
religiously as I had been and stopped eating as healthily as usual, because I
felt down. Other than this being obviously related to female monthly blues, I
knew something was up.
Then it hit me.
For my birthday last year, a friend of mine gave me the book
Into the Wild. He knew I liked the movie, but I hadn’t read the book. Inside
the book, though, he wrote a note that essentially said, “Remember, happiness
is best when shared.” (I say essentially because I don’t have the book with me
right now.)
That’s it. The whole thing. The whole project. It comes down
to people. I’m happiest around people, I’m happiest in the moments shared with
another person.
Turns out, all I’ve really learned from re-focusing is that
happiness for me simply means being social.
This month has at least shown me that. From here out, I’m
going to not just focus on fixing myself by looking inward. When I spend my
month working on getting fit, I’ll share that with another person. When I focus
on getting smarter every day, I’ll bring someone else into the learn-vest. When
I disconnect from electronics, it’ll be to spend time with human beings that I
genuinely enjoy being around and meeting new people.
I was dumped by someone who valued being alone to solve
problems more than being with someone else. I’m not like that, and I never will
be.
I’m too social.
-Jamie
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