August: Lighten up!

August

Lighten Up.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it has been one month since I started my self-improvement project. It’s been one month of waking up an extra 15 minutes or so early to complete my morning checklist. It’s been one month of meditating every day and constantly reviewing my resolutions. It’s been one month, and I can say that honestly, I do feel better overall.

Have I beaten procrastination into submission? Have I tamed the untamable? Have I stopped all of my bad habits? Nope! But that is totally okay with me. At least now I make a conscious effort to ensure everything is taken care of before I leave the room so that when I come back, I’m not overwhelmed with ‘to do’ lists. My room is always in order, my food is almost always cooked for the next day, and my toys are always put away… wait, what?

As far as bad habits, for the most part they’ve kicked the bucket. Just a few days ago I had a relapse in nail biting, unfortunately. But I know with just a little more focus, which I intend to continue doing, I’ll be back to none of that.

Now that that month is done and over with, it’s on to the next!! It’s August’s time to shine. For this month… drum roll, please….

LIGHTEN UP!

Yes. I’m too serious. I get that all the time from people I work with. They don’t understand me when I joke, because they think I’m still being serious. How sad! I also need to lighten up so I can stop getting mad all the time. It’s so frustrating working with people who are constantly grouchy or constantly putting others down because they’re taking themselves too seriously. I don’t want to be that. Everyone in the office has so much more fun when we’re relaxed and light with each other. Not just the office, though, of course. I just use the office as an example because that’s where I spend most of my time…. yes, that’s a source of stress for me. But now here’s my chance to lighten up about it!

Found some good articles on being light, but most importantly, I’m going to try to do the following:

- Just relax. When I feel myself tense up, let my body loosen up. Unclench fists, drop shoulders, take a deep breath.
- Go to yoga at least once a week, but aim for two to three times (schedule dependent).

- Play more games. Board games, card games, anything.

- Laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh. Laugh at everything.
- Limit the amount of negative or slow songs I listen to. Positive, upbeat music has just that kind of effect.

- No negative talk!! To anyone, about anyone.

- Maybe try watching more comedy? RomComs, comedians, etc.

Those are just the ideas that pop up immediately without doing serious research… or should I say ‘light’ research? One thing is for sure, regardless- research has proven that when you smile, your brain starts believing it’s what you want to be doing. So this month will be all about tricking my brain into having a great time and being loose as a jellyfish.

So here I go!
-Jamie

Aperture

What a week. And again, I'm shocked that it's already the weekend. This means July is almost over! I can start biting my nails and not doing the dishes right?! So wrong.

This is going to be a constant battle, but I'm trying so hard. One of my commandments is to not make excuses, but it is seriously so hard to manage my time when the Navy steals it all. I'd love to spend hours in the evening cooking and researching recipes and reading books and talking to my family/friends and watching a movie. But instead, work demands that I be either in the office or in the air every day. We had one day off last week, so that was nice. And this upcoming week we may have one or two days off. It's very difficult to fight procrastination when I actually can't find the time to take care of basic household things.


Wahwahwahhh.


In actuality, life was pretty sweet this week. With my one day off, I completed my first triathlon, played ultimate frisbee with a local Okinawan team, went to a beach party, and then played ultimate again with a group of people on base... way past my bedtime. Now, don't be too impressed, the triathlon was an uber sprint- 200m swim, 5k bike, 1k run. I finished 4th overall out of 42 women. I had a great time, though. Then after ultimate practice, the team presented me with my new team jersey!! I wish I spoke Japanese so I could thank them thoroughly. I appreciate them letting me play on their team so much. They're full of good spirit, and they're extremely talented. Maybe one day I'll be able to express my gratitude fully.

Also, super sick- I started 'kicking the footbag' with my friend Josh. Yes, hacky sack. Tonight I was supposed to go to bed well over an hour ago... instead- footbag. I learned to stall and I got up to 10 hits in a row. When I get out of the Navy, I'm moving to Oregon to be a hippie. I'll kick footbag and play ultimate frisbee every day, all day. And ride my bike everywhere. Because cars are overrated.

Does this have anything to do with the project? No.

And here are some pictures:

Before the swim... obviously.

Pre-race shot with Christine!

Out of the water. Mid-blink!

Excuse the haggard look. This was after the tri and practice.
Getting my new jersey from Galvanic!

I can say that this week I was happy amongst all the stress. Reviewing my resolutions every morning, listening to the song and reading the quote of the week, and meditating have done wonders for my consciousness to the surroundings. Most notably, it's helped me realize when I'm being ridiculous, sometimes even before I say anything hurtful. I still snap at work, but that may be exhaustion right now.

Regardless, this project has already started working magic in my brain.
If anything, it makes me think I'm happier.
Whatever it's doing, I'll let it keep doing it.

This month will be over in just a few days. When I get a second to breathe, I'll post my plan for next week!
-Jamie

Look Into the Air

It's already been a week? Seems like it flew by, but it was full of some rough spots as well as beautiful moments.

Work was very tough this week. Not the job, because the job is enjoyable to me. It's the people. I had a revelation that while I do seek happiness in the form of social connections, it can also be the bringer of angry Jamie. When meditating every morning this week, I had to say to myself again and again that 'there is only love.' But as soon as someone did one slightly frustrating thing, it's like I ignored everything I'd been building for three weeks and I'd snap on that individual. Unfortunately, the poor individual getting most of the heat is someone I work closely with regularly. He's insanely patient with me, which is a great thing. He deserves much more credit than I spare him in the day. Closer to the end of the week, I was better about stopping to think before I said anything potentially offensive or negative to him, so maybe there was improvement. We'll see how this next week goes. Being angry towards someone doesn't make me feel good afterward. Period.

As far as procrastination... I'd say I'm better at dealing with things at the moment now than I was before, but only because I'm overly observant now. I suppose it's a good thing regardless. The task is still getting done. Heck, I almost didn't write this because I have to wake up at 2:30 a.m. tomorrow and it's already 7:30 p.m. This girl enjoys her sleep. Whatever, I couldn't put the blog off because it's a new week! And this is a task. Not a burden, just something I told myself I would do.

The beautiful moments from the past week include some incredibly delicious recipes I tried, I found a personal trainer for free, and I saw literally the most beautiful evening sky I'll probably ever see for the rest of my life. And that would be okay, because it was so stunning. I'll upload the photos just for fun, but I promise the sky one was so much more beautiful than a lens could capture.

Gorgeous sunset sky in Okinawa.

Breakfast carrot cake bars (no wheat/dairy)

Almond flour/coconut oil coated, baked, then broiled pork tenderloins

I'll leave you with this for the week. A lovely 11-minute talk on cloud watching. Enjoy, and have a great week!
-Jamie

Beat Your Heartbeat.

Originally, I went with naming the blog entries by week... but how boring! Usually, when forced into a creative project (either internally or externally forced), I rely on music to guide where the project goes. So in line with my number one resolution of 'being me,' I've decided to title my blogs with references to the music inspiring me as I type the entry. Much better.

So, two weeks down, and feeling good!

There were several times this week that caught me about to walk out the door and I would realize I hadn't washed my dishes or put my clothes away or some other menial task. Each time, I had a small back-and-forth argument in my brain about whether to hold off until I got back or do them now. Normally the procrastinator would win within two seconds, but because of this conscious effort to improve, I gave in to the go-getter. Honestly, it made me feel better every single time. After finishing up whatever task I had to take care of, there must have been an actual boost in some brain chemical that made me feel satisfied. Like, "thank goodness you did that now, because later, you're going to be exhausted or not have time or need those clothes clean and representable." It's always nice coming home to no chores, because you've already done them!........ or someone else did them for you.

Oh, found this neat little blog on procrastination. Tips and tricks in numbered format, everyone loves that stuff.


For my bad habits tracker:
Nails- no desire to put them in my mouth anymore, so I think it's safe to say I've kicked that habit.
Knuckles- look, I don't want arthritis as much as the next person, but my thumb knuckles are too easy to just 'pop' and move on. That's a tough one, but almost a battle I don't care to fight. Maybe when I get crippling arthritis as an elderly woman, it'll just be in those two fingers and I'll have eight others to carry the weight. Yeah... that's how that works... science...
Cussing- oh how easily you notice something when you're trying to avoid it. I honestly don't use foul language often enough for it to be a real habit, but apparently I can't go a single day without one or two bad words, even just to mimic or quote someone else. No excuses! I'll stop it, dangit.


This past week has been stressful in the work realm. It's made me think maybe I should've started my project with a month of patience. Though, because every morning and night it's part of my checklist to review my resolutions, when I'm about to say something mean or get frustrated over something insane at work, I instead refer back to my list- aka my safe zone. 'Let it go' has been a big one for me this week, as well as 'build up, never belittle.' It's easy to get a superiority complex in this job if you're good at it, but instead I want to be the helpful person at work that people want to approach. I'd rather a situation go down like this:
"Hey, Jamie, you're really awesome at this, would you please show me how to do it?"
than this:
[to someone else] "I don't want to ask Jamie about it, she's condescending and makes me feel stupid."

I'm willing to go out on a limb and say we've all worked with people like the 'latter Jamie' at some point, and if you don't think you have, you were probably that person. It's not fun, so I would much rather be approachable and friendly to people.


Resolutions- they're key.
Okay, enough babbling for this entry. Until next time, peace.
-Jamie

End of Week One.

What's tricky about stopping bad habits is that your body seems to naturally pick up other habits to drive you nuts in its place. I may have stopped biting my nails for now, but I seem to have started messing with the skin around my nails and popping my knuckles more. Instead of chewing on my hand, I just quickly give my thumb knuckles a pop and I feel better... then immediately worse because it's a habit I want to stop as well. Come on, body, chill out already.

Week one of this self-improvement project is now complete. I've diligently made lists every day, checked boxes, reviewed my resolutions in the morning and at night, listened to my weekly song every morning, meditated twice daily for just a few minutes, and kept track of how many times I've popped my knuckles or neck.

I wish I could say it's been a total success and I feel happier already, but I'm a long way away from that lofty goal... though I don't necessarily view happiness as a goal. Self-improvement is the goal. Or rather, it's a resolution. I'm resolving to be better. This will be a lifelong pursuit, not just one year.

Babble babble. Maybe I’ll have more insightful things to say when my month revolves around something deeper than not eating my hand.

For this next week, I’m adding cussing to my list of habits to break. I honestly don’t do it often, but I’ve noticed it doesn’t add to a situation… pretty much ever. And who takes a girl seriously when she’s talking about self-improvement and drops an f-bomb? I wouldn’t.

Also, instead of focusing on all the bad things I do, I'll work on being better about reenforcing the good habits. I drink water throughout the day, but I need to drink more, especially in Okinawa this time of year. I workout, but I need to be serious about doing it more often. I encourage people regularly on little things, like when working out in a group, but I should expand that to strangers or not-so-close friends.

So here's to the next week.

'Week' looks like a funny word when you look at it long enough...
-Jamie